“Give Me Needy Emotional Whining Bullshit. Flash. Give Me Self-Absorbed Egocentric Twaddle. Christ."

“But if you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you're talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn't work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons.”

A couple of posts ago (to be exact, years ago), I mentioned that I’ve found myself in a reading rut. It’s still true to this day but on the upside of this ordeal, this means that I’ve plenty of unread books sitting on various tables at home, waiting for me to give them their due attention. I’ve realized that more than anything in this world, the most difficult thing to attain is motivation. Where can one buy the will to follow through her plans? Oh well. Aside from indulging in the numerous series that I’m catching up on, this quarantine has somehow forced me to pick up a few books to read. I have finished 3 books in total since the nationwide lockdown in Metro Manila began last 16 Mar 2020. It's not my usual number pre-reading rut but still, this is better than my 2019 count of 0. Today, I'm going to talk about Chuck Palahniuk's Invisible Monsters. 

 

“Give me lust, baby.

Flash.

Give me malice.

Flash.

Give me detached existentialist ennui.

Flash.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.

Flash.”

I bought the book in 2017, just a couple of weeks after I've finished my first Palahniuk novel (which I talked about HERE). I was thirsty for more of the distinct Palahniuk brand of black humor but alas. I couldn't finish the novel for some reason. I even brought it to some of the trips that I’ve been to hoping that with nothing else to do while waiting for my flight, I’ll just get to it but this mentality didn’t work. It was only this Apr 2020 that I finally sat down and read it. It took me less than a day to complete it. More than its interesting cover, the way it was written was even more interesting. Truly, Palahniuk is a master wordsmith. His writing style is a character on its own and sets him apart from all the other authors who have mesmerized me as well. More than the plot, I highly recommend this novel if only for the way it was written. 

“No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should have been paying attention. Well get used to that feeling. That’s how your whole life will feel like someday.”

As he has said, this story isn't an “and then, and then, and then” type. It’s more along “jump to page”. Be forewarned that the narrator is unreliable. It's only within the last 10 pages or so that her confusion which led to unreliability would be revealed to have had a reason. To summarize, the book is about a very beautiful young woman whose looks and built are enough to send insecure girls such as myself to surgeons in hopes that we can look like her. She works as a model and so even in mundane life scenarios, she hears prompts such as “Give me attention. Flash. Give me adoration. Flash. Give me a break. Flash.” Until one day, she meets an unfortunate accident which cost her her entire jaw. From a walking goddess whom everybody seems to pave the way for, she turns to a creature who inspires pity out of those who'll look at her. Her face became so pitiful that people pretended that she no longer exists just so they won't have to resort to pretending that they feel sorry for her when in truth, they recoil at the distorted figure in front of them. 

“It's all mirror, mirror on the wall because beauty is power the same way money is power the same way a gun is power.”

Because the heroine lost her jaw, even her speech became garbled which added to her distortion. Enter the misfits who took her under their wing. Together, they navigated through their issues and dreams and disappointments while going on adventures with the goal of chasing what they each believe would give them happiness. Our heroine received guidance from the Queen Supreme who imparts to her wisdom that helped her accept who she has become. Included in their many adventures are lessons on how to accept the past as a mere story which happened but does not necessarily mean must continue nor affect the future, on how a new life can begin from complete destruction, on how at any point in one's life it is possible to undergo transformation, on how we are all just an echo of something that has already been done before, and on how manipulative possessing beauty can be. 

“Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.”

“Just each of us being me, me, me first. The murderer, the victim, the witness each of us thinks our role is the lead. Probably that goes for anybody in the world.”

These 2 sets of photos were taken 1 year apart. I've just thought that April usually is a busy month for me in terms of going out and meeting up with friends; and believe me, I am such a homebody that it requires mental conditioning before I agree to leaving the confines of my home. I rarely agree to an on-the-spot meetup. Anyway. April of this year has been the quietest April in my last 5 years, although it's during this year's April that I finally read this novel so there's that for semblance of accomplishment. In Apr 2018, I joined some friends in their trip to Seoul, South Korea because I was in need of a break from work. The last 2 photos were from that trip. Fast forward to Apr 2019 when my parents decided that our summer 2019 family trip would be in Seoul. The first 2 photos were taken then. Not that I think this would be a regular happenstance in my annual plans but I just thought that it would be cohesive to have the same color palette in both trips thus the pink tops. Also, it was during the 2018 trip that I bought the coat which I wore when I returned in 2019. How's that for coming full circle?

 

“Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.”

As had been the case in the first Palahniuk novel that I've read, I've come to appreciate this novel's take on religion too. He compared God to our earthly parents, and his comparisons have merits. 

“Your being born makes your parents God. You owe them your life, and they can control you. Then puberty makes you Satan, just because you want something better.”

Science, history, and our personal experiences have proven that the world is kinder to those whom it deems beautiful. There is power that goes along with it. This is a given, I suppose. Meanwhile, the book also affirms that society is cruel to those whom it deems ugly. Whether it's been done unknowingly or otherwise, we create certain expectations that only those who meet them are allowed to be part of our circle. We judge others based on several measurements, be it according to their beauty, their intellectual capability, their social circles, their social status, their socio-economic prowess, their educational attainment, even their taste in pets, and so on. The media has fed us an image of what is good and what is bad, what would constitute success and what would constitute failure. We have all become sponges who are ready to accept without processing information just because it's been drilled into our minds. In general, I don't believe that there's anything bad in having certain biases. Perhaps we all have an innate radar that goes off when we meet someone whom we unconsciously believe threatens what we have come to regard as the standard. Sometimes our prejudices are stemmed from our self-preservation. Then again, more often than not, we hold what we believe are their weaknesses against others because we would rather go for convenience, or what is readily accepted by the majority, rather than go out our way in knowing more about them. See, it's easier to judge others than to understand them. 

“In the way our world is, everybody shoulder to shoulder, people knowing everything about you at first glance, a good veil is your tinted limousine window. The unlisted number for your face. Behind a good veil, you could be anyone.”

The book is also  about us creating multiple veils of our real selves in order to satisfy the expectations of society. We are all so scared to be ostracized that we would rather have these layers of persona who may or may not reflect who we truly are. If there's anything that the book has made me do, it's to re-evaluate myself. I've come to realize that I should listen to the novel when it said, "sometimes the best way to deal with shit is not to hold yourself as such a precious little prize." It'll take a long time before I can shed all my veils but until then, let's see where life would take me. Maybe this is why I have been subconsciously evading the novels that I've bought over the past 2yrs. They're causing too much introspection! Hahahaha I think that I have been successful in not giving away too much spoilers about the novel. I urge you, read it. It is a good jumpstart to Palahniuk's works (aside from his well-known Fight Club). 

 

 "Give me pity. 

Flash.

Give me another chance.

Flash."

April 2019 outfit

Pink Coat: from a shop in Dongdaemun, South Korea | Pants: Levi's | Shoes: New Balance | Red top: Terranova | Bag: Gucci Guccissima

April 2018 outfit

Sweater: Banana Republic | Pants: Levi's | Shoes: Calvin Klein | Bag: Givenchy Pandora 

 

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.”

"How Foolish I was Ever To Have Thought of Them as Intellectual Giants"

"I'll admit I'm like him in a number of ways, but humility and self-effacement are not among them. I've learned how little they get a person in this world."

Truthfully, I haven't had the energy nor the drive to finish books after books these past months. Maybe I'm uninspired or I just happen to be in a reading rut. I still continuously buy plenty of books in the hopes that seeing what my money was exchanged for would motivate me to make every cent spent on them worth it but unfortunately, I've subconsciously piled them up in our mini-library of sorts and decided that their worth would be as decorations. Ughh I know, lame. So today, I would just talk about the last 5-star book I've read, which was all the way back to December 2017. Today's topic would be about Keyes' Flowers for Algernon.

Top and shoes: Zara | Skirt: Topshop | Belt: Rajo Laurel | Bag: Saint Laurent Downtown Cabas | Earrings: Mango

These photos were taken last 25 Feb 2018. My officemate's daughter celebrated her 7th birthday and you know about kids these days, they have better and more well-thought parties compared to when it was during my time in the mid-1990s. Now, all ideas are possible if only one can think about it. My officemate asked my help in planning the party since she knows that I LOVEEE planning events. I readily agreed to going here and there and being on call, with services for free so long as my ideas would be translated to reality. In short, I agreed provided that no budget would be spared. The party was arranged down to the last detail. We even had taste-test of the food that will be served (officemate and I did this during one lunch break). Even the birthday celebrant's outfit to be worn was given enough thought. It was designed by my officemate and I's favorite Filipino designer, Rajo Laurel. To add the "unicorn" vibe since it's the requested theme of the party, we bought Cassie (the birthday celebrant) faux fur from Zara. What? I love faux fur, remember? I would love it if everyone  would get to wear one even if it isn't for winter hahahahaha As for the actual venue, it was so nicely-done. There was an area for nail art, and there were kiosks of Potato Corner, Tater's, and Pinkberry yogurt. But oh well, I've not much photos to share because I was just too impressed by how a month of planning it all turned out to be SO SO SO FUN AND NICE that most of my documentation of it were in video format and not photos.

"There are a lot of people who will give money or materials, but very few who will give time and affection."

Back to the book. The book is an amalgamation of different novels, each chapter with a different lesson to impart. Much as I'd like to pinpoint a single scene that could best illustrate this book's wonder, I can't. Because it's more like a loaded machine gun that keeps firing one poignant theme after another. It opens a lot of discussions on the ethics behind experimenting on live subjects, how society views and treats those whom it deems not normal, and how mankind mistreats those who are mentally handicapped.

 It's about 32-yr old Charlie Gordon who was born with an IQ of only 68. He grew up estranged from his family and was simultaneously working in a bakery by day and a student in a special school by night. His desperate wish was to be smart because he strongly believed that he will be happy if he's smart and not dumb, as he accepted himself to be. "If your smart you can have lots of frends to talk to and you never get lonley by yourself all the time." Among the strongest points of the novel was having a 1st-person perspective of the thought-process of Charlie, as his thoughts were documented in his diary. It's refreshing and such an emotionally-invoking way to narrate a story.

“There are so many doors to open. I am impatient to begin."

Charlie Gordon had been selected by the professor-scientists from Beekman University to be the first human to be tested on a procedure that has only been tried on lab rats. A white mouse called Algernon underwent a surgery that would increase his IQ. Of all the rats who were similarly experimented on, Algernon showed the highest resiliency on the procedure. He had stayed smart the longest out of all the test subjects. Still boosted by the success of the experiment, the doctors, headed by Prof Nemur, performed the same surgery on Charlie. His desire to be smart had been so endearing and so well-founded and so strong that although he was not the first human-subject choice in the program, he had ultimately been selected. The experiment proved to be a success. Charlie's IQ of 68 rose to 185; from a retardate to a genius.

 “I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone.”

But what he so longed to have proved to not bring the happiness he thought he would have once he's smart. Slowly, he started comprehending things that he had greatly mistaken for something else before. Now that he's a genius, he realized that his "frends" at the bakery were not laughing with him but that they make fun of him and laugh at him all the time. Eventually, Charlie understood that his own mother sent him away because she was resentful and ashamed of his retardation. He thought that he could finally be with the woman whom he has always had a crush on now that he's smart. But then again, he soon realized that he was just as out-of-reach from the girl of his dreams when he was dumb just as he was smart. And finally, he has come to realize that the scientists who performed the surgery on him were not the "gods and heroes" he once thought of them to be. 

"They would always find excuses to slip away, afraid to reveal the narrowness of their knowledge. How different they seem to be now. And how foolish I was ever to have thought that professors were intellectual giants. They're people - and afraid the rest of the world will find out."

He soon realized that the Intellectual Giants he greatly revered before were also not sure of the long-term outcome of the surgery. Soon, Charlie's genius-level IQ separated him from others in the same way that his low IQ used to. Worse, now he knows what it's like to have knowledge of everything and see those whom he thought were better than him, suddenly appear clearly as normal persons who are just trying their best without knowing as much as he does. In the end he found out that Algernon, the only thing existing who knew exactly what he was undergoing through, was slowly mentally regressing. It has become a race against time as Charlie tried to solve the problem that caused the mental regression. He eventually wrote the study on both his and Algernon's mental states, with the study being his swan song before he finally returned to his original state.



"You know things. You see things. But you haven't developed understanding, or -I have to use the word- tolerance."

To summarize what Flowers for Algernon was about, it's a book  about humanity - its complexities, biases, surprises, and its innate cruelty masked sometimes by unfairness. The novel reveals the glaring truth that truly, there is both goodness and depravity in mankind.

I love one of the questions it posited - would it better to not know but be happy or to know but eventually lose it again? I have always preferred preservation rather than finding the solution to the already-present problem. I'd rather have calculated risks with small gains rather than great leaps of faith with uncertain outcome. Yes, it's true, I'm a very boring twenty-something girl. But in my defense, it's not an easy feat to go back to the way it was when you already know for a fact that it could be better.

 Read the novel. It comes highly recommended. 

"But I've learned that intelligence alone doesn't mean a damned thing. Here in your university, intelligence, education, knowledge have all become great idols. But I know now there's one thing you've all overlooked: intelligence and education that hasn't been tempered by human affection isn't worth a damn." 

"What I demand of myself, I cannot demand of everyone."

“I know that when a supersexy older girl with hips and breasts and nice hair wants to take off your glasses and to paint you a smoky eye she's merely trying to enroll you in a beauty contest she's already won. It's a kind of slummy, condescending gesture, like when rich people ask poor people where they summer. To me, this smacks of a blatant, insensitive "let them eat cake" type of chauvinism.” 

I have recently read 2 brilliant novels, both of which I have rated with 4 out of 5 stars in Goodreads (by recently, I meant that I finished these 1st week of May). They hit the kind of humor that I strongly albeit secretly subscribe to: insensitive and unapologetic. Just kidding, the books were just really funny. And they’re both my first from each authors.

Jacket with wool lining: Abercrombie & Fitch | Inner top: Zara | Pants and bonnet: Uniqlo | Boots: from department store in US | Sunnies: Oakley | Bag: Balenciaga City | Scarf: H&M

"It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities."

I have read a few of Palahniuk’s quotes while browsing Pinterest. I’ve pinned some of them without having read the book whence they came from just because they were downright offensively funny, just the uncustomary straight-in-your-face rebuttal that I find hilarious (trust me, I’ve recently learned that not everyone appreciates this kind of humor. Or was it just my delivery that made the entire supposedly humorous situation overly offensive? Hmmm). Anyway. For my first Palahniuk novel, I bought “Damned”, the book where the cover looks like an inebriated evilmonger. Certainly the book wasn’t a conflict-resolved case (I read that 2 more are coming after?) and that it was more of a thrill-along-the-way kind of read but just the same, I loved it!

"Few marriages sustain the high level of passion that exists between criminals and those who seek to bring them to justice. It’s no wonder the Zodiac Killer flirted so relentlessly with the police. Or that Jack the Ripper courted and baited detectives with his - or her - coy letters. We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired."

The premise was very simple: a chubby well-bred, well-groomed, well off 13-year old girl died and went to Hell. While there, she became overlord, besting out the likes of Hitler as she stayed longer. Instead of resenting the toxic place that was Hell, she started embracing it. Here comes the bummer: whilst enjoying her growing power, she was told that there has been a mix-up, that she wasn’t supposed to be in Hell in the first place. Bla, bla, bla. It’s a formulaic plot and the plot itself didn’t astound me. What made me decide to file it under the rest of my beloved 4-star books is that, I found it refreshing and amusing to read a novel that showcased a different type of humor. Yes yes, I quite agree that senseless, idiotic, and stupid jokes are funny. I even share them on an every hour basis with my colleague at work. I also agree that some smart jokes are funny too (of course I’m not discounting the fact that perhaps I only consider “some” and not “all” to be funny because I mostly do not understand smart jokes). And have you read my favorite book, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray? That’s a treasure trove of funny insults. 

Aside from its humor, I liked how the book made its stand on religion:

“All the demons of Hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. As each subsequent civilization became a dominant power, among its first acts was to depose and demonize whoever the previous culture had worshipped."

It makes sense, doesn't it? I have long been trying to find logic and sense in religion until I've decided that I can classify it among those things under "To Each His Own". Believe in what works for you just as have respect for what works for others.

"It is an old refrain — everybody agrees that the rats must be exterminated, but when it comes down to it, sympathy for the individual rat is huge. Only sympathy, mind you; there is no desire to keep the rat. The two must not be confused."

The 2nd book that I couldn't help myself from gushing about and sharing with everyone I know who reads, is Timur Vermes' Look Who's Back. Every now and then, I never failed in mentioning that among the stories that greatly interest me is those which happened during the Regime of the Nazis. But, it's not because I share the same ideology. My beliefs are far from it, in fact. It's just because the atrocities committed then, all in the name of upholding a racial belief, has always evoked the most melancholic thoughts from me. There's no logic that can be found in the most heinous crime ever committed against humanity. Hitler, by means of command-responsibility, is single-handedly the worst creature that was ever blessed with a brain. These are my quick two-cents about the historical Hitler.

"An idiot who does idiotic things is not funny."

"Well, I was certainly planning to demonstrate my importance, but it was doubtful whether they would be able to handle it."

Now, on to my thoughts on the literary Hitler. I came across the book one afternoon when I was supposed to meet up with my college best friend. I arrived 30mins earlier than agreed upon so I went straight to Fully Booked. I saw the book, bought it, and showed up to the meeting place 23 minutes late. Well, what can I do, the book was surprisingly humorous. Tasteless, sure (if only because any attempt to downplay Hitler's crimes are considered as such). But it's certainly fun. Very briefly, the book is about Hitler who has woken up from his suicide in 1945 only to be met with the changes in 2011. With his rancour and wit in check, he rose to fame as a social media sensation. This book, just like Damned, is not a book with a destination in mind. It's a book that's meant to thrill its readers along the way.

The Hitler in this novel is witty, insightful, definitely not "the half-breed of indeterminate lineage", and quite possibly "the choice of Fate herself". If anything, I'd say that this novel could be the humorous novel counterpart of Machiavelli's The Prince. Or fine, it could be the lighter brother of historical Hitler's Mein Kampf. In short, I was highly entertained with the Hitler in this novel. I can even go and say, I share plenty of similar beliefs with this literary Hitler. 

"I am the ambassador for uncompromising opinions."

The book was well-researched too. Its nuggets of historical accuracies added to the few facts that I know of about the Holocaust. I never bothered knowing about Goebbels, Himmler, Goring, Bormann, and all those other SS officials. It doesn't matter if the Holocaust began because of Hitler's desire to purify the German race and was only blown out of proportions because of the likes of Himmler. It doesn't matter if in the future, evidences could prove that Hitler's role in it was only in planting the seed of idea and that his officials were the ones who interpreted and acted on this idea thus commanding the genocide. None of these would matter because as literary Hitler said, "the Fuhrer's unique talent is not the accumulation of dry facts - his unique talent is rapid decision-making, and assuming responsibility for those decisions". I guess it's because rarely do people assume accountability for their rash decisions that when I see someone do it, I end up admiring him. 

"I liked that. No prevaricating, no excuses, just an unswerving acknowledgement of one's errors, and a promise to make amends for these autonomously."

"And to all you romantics and gullible souls, who imagine that these devious parasites possess an extraordinary astuteness to match their allegedly superior intelligence - well, I'm afraid I have to disappoint you."

All photos were taken last December 2016 when the family went to Washington DC. All quotes were lifted from the 2 books that were discussed. 

"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time."

"...That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

I had a pre-birthday celebration last 5 January 2017 in Olive Garden in Virginia which was sponsored by my very generous Tito (who had no choice as I made a declaration that I’ll treat everybody only to a salad party). I love steak and it’s thanks to him that I got to enjoy a plate of medium-rare steak with  lobster ravioli on top of the salad hehehe

Coat: Atmosphere | Fleece turtleneck: Uniqlo | Pants and necklace: Zara | Wallet used as bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction | Pumps: Christian Louboutin Victorina Flame

I’ve turned another year older, and I’ve now entered the onset of mid-twenties so I guess somehow, without meaning to, things have changed. I’m still selfish, but only around 77% compared the staggering 100% of High Schooler me. I’m still impulsive but I already know the difference between what I’ll need for only 3 months as opposed to what can benefit me in a longer period. I still hold grudges but I’m mostly indifferent now. I still shop but no longer uncontrollably. These days, I set limit and actually follow through. I still get stressed in work but no longer too stressed that I let it stay in my mind for days. I’m still generally immature but at least now I know that there’s no point in trying to find logic in a mistake I’ve done. Then again, there’s still the part of me, a big chunk, that greatly embraces happiness brought by material objects (like say, the pumps I’m wearing in this set) hehehehe

Perhaps it's the Ego that predominantly does the talking these days that's why anything that I do work-wise, I can't rest without having my superior acknowledge that I've done something good. It's instant validation that I'm seeking for - a concept that's been the topic of discussion between my good friend and I. Charge it to us being young ambitious girls who are on the cusp of becoming adults, that the only sign of success we accept is constant validation from our respective bosses. They say we should find validation from within ourselves but at the stage where I'm currently at, to hell with those overbearing individualistic supposedly present voices from within. I need to hear that I'm good at what I'm doing from the person who knows the standard of good in the industry, and that's not me. Hahahaha. I only have a few more years to be understandably insecure, lost, shallow, and unfailingly pessimistic so until I can somehow say I'm stable, please by hook or by crook, let me be.

There's this side of me that says I should stop worrying about the future, that I should just do what I'm already doing for an indefinite period, that there's no hurry since I have the rest of my life to figure out what it is that I would want to do. Then again, there's an even bigger part that says I've to hustle because no one else would bear my cross for me. If I let someone else stir the wheel for me, I might end up blaming that someone if I don't reach the destination that I foresee for myself.

I think it was sometime in the last quarter of 2016 when I chanced upon this short story about the Velveteen Rabbit. Lately, I've passed on my novels in favor of short stories that hold symbolism and metaphors that can rival those of what a novel tried to tell in its thousands of pages. Asimov's The Last Question is still on top of the most thought-provoking short story I've read but Margery Williams' The Velveteen Rabbit is a close runner up. (Yeah yeah, I know. Technically it's not a short story but anything that can be finished in around 20 or less minutes is considered a short story to me). It's about a toy rabbit that wants to become real. The story somehow reminded me of Toy Story and The Little Prince. Oh well. Too much existential dilemma does no one any good. So until the next post.

Here's to a fun 2017!

The Point Where It Gets Blurry

Between January and September (technically, my last post here was about how I celebrated my birthday in January so let’s consider last post to be from January), life happened. Everything is moving so fast and progressively that I can only retain bits of information from things I’ve and should’ve done.  My memory has never been something I’ve been proud of to begin with. I would have loved to tell stories about my first time to experience Hong Kong Disneyland without the usual human traffic but then I feel like the enthusiasm that it’s meant to be documented with is already doused by the fact that it happened last February. Then there’s my supposedly excessive posts about the Asian Cruise I’ve been on during the Holy Week. Oh gosh Time, you sure are a party pooper.  Then again, a geeky girl like myself can’t part ways with her books so there’s that for the semblance of normalcy. Speaking of which, I know it’s been months since The Cursed Child was released but allow me to gush over it albeit in the most concise way that I can.

Dress: H&M | Flats: SM Department Store (Gibi) | Bag: Prada

Let me precede this paragraph by saying that I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. Crying over Sirius’ death? Yup. Hating Umbridge with every fiber of my being? That’s my forte. Shipping Scorpius and Rose together? I’m all for it! But one thing I cannot say is that, I loved the manuscript of The Cursed Child. I’ve read far better fanfictions than that one. I’m not a Psychology expert; I didn’t even have a class in Psychology (or had I?) but to me, Harry may have some issues but he has not appeared as an emotionally-challenged human being. I mean, it’s a wonder how he got out of the Dursleys mentally  unscathed and perhaps it’s only well into fatherhood that his emotional imbalances are showing but I just cannot accept how the book described Albus as a socially awkward teen as a result of his parenting style. He’s Harry Potter’s son, for goodness’ sake; the very same man who defeated Voldemort and saved the entire world. If I were in his shoes, I’ll be ‘strutting down the castle’ and be an even bigger ‘arrogant toerag’ than his grandfather James. Then there’s also Scorpius Malfoy. Oh dear how can he not be cool? If he’s the spitting image of Draco (who by the way is among my favorite characters in the Harry Potter universe), won’t he be equally good-looking, aristocratic, and a downright snob? Oh well. So much for the characters I’ve thought they would have become.

Did you know how many people I’ve contacted just to ensure that I’ll have a copy by 31 July? There’s my brother Gio who’s currently in the US for his year-long internship (which I’ll tell more about in succeeding posts). He has pre-ordered because we were both anticipating that the book copies will run out as soon as it goes on sale. But then when he has placed the order, it's occurred to me that it’ll take weeks for the book to arrive at my doorstep, which I wouldn’t accept. So enter Plan B. I contacted different bookstores in Manila in hopes that I can have a copy reserved for me. To cut the chase, I had to step out of the office during my lunch break and drive to the bookstore where I finally got my much-anticipated copy (I prefer my books in their physical form rather than the electronic) I may have disliked the content but I will happily be the fan who will fight tooth and nail just to get any literary material concerning the Potter Universe.

These photos were taken last August 2016 when my family went to Baguio. So until the next post! Haha, I know. This post has been anticlimactic but this is more of a hey-I'm-still-updating type rather than the hey-would-you-look-at-that-I've-an-idea. Until the next!

Perils of Becoming a Genius

It's easy to call anyone who does an extraordinary act a Genius. I do it all the time and in the process blur the line that separates real genius from average-thinking people like myself. I like listening to intelligent people talk about solutions or mere concepts that propel the progress in our civilization. To me, visionaries are considered genius regardless of their IQ level. However there are organizations, particularly the Mensa, which standardize the tool used in singling out genius from the rest.  I think it's just fair that the top 2% of the population belong in an elite club where they can enjoy privileges worthy of their brilliance. They deserve it. I applaud all kinds of genius because their minds are the modern weapon, so to speak.


Top: H&M | Skirt, belt: from Tutuban Mall in Divisoria | Shoes: CMG | Bag: Fossil | Necklace: Pull & Bear | Bangle: from Platinum Mall in Thailand

These photos were taken last 8 March, serving as my Dad's second birthday celebration with my cousins here. Everyone was feeling lazy then, not even wanting to go out so we opted for a nearby restaurant where we can come in our pambahay and have no one frown upon our get-up (I can't let go of my heels though). Bonus points for the karaoke inside the room. I love singing! We ate in Seafood Paluto in Daang-Hari, a 15-20-minute drive from Alabang. The first celebration is HERE.



It's just fitting that when I talk of genius, I actually think of the author of my favorite book - Oscar Wilde. When someone is capable of shutting up his detractor not by force but by words, and make the latter realize the extent of his stupidity and subsequently become the cause of his eternal embarrassment, then he is my Mr. Miyagi (I'm a huge fan of the Ralph Macchio - Pat Morita's Karate Kid).  Anyway. When we read novels that speak to us beyond the themes present in them, we wish that the author lived in our times just so we can hit him with a Hi-Hello-you're-a-genius-can-we-be-friends note. Certainly an email will suffice (at least for Jodi Picoult who patiently responds to my fanmails). I haven't read from a more illustrious author who can romanticize insults and make the recipient look forward to it. By anyone's standards, Wilde is a literary genius.




Another genius I look up to is Stephen Hawking. I first knew of him when I saw him in an episode of The Simpsons where he told Lisa that "sometimes even the most intelligent are fallible". Of course then it wasn't his wisdom that made me remember him but his wheelchair attached to the computer that aided his speech. For a 12 year old girl, his physical appearance was greatly alarming and fascinating at the same time. It was only years later (I think I was 19 then), when I picked up a copy of his A Brief of History of Time that I was astounded by him for the right reasons. To be fair, I did not understand almost anything in the book despite his attempt to dumb down the explanations. I got a few things though such as, he does not believe that the biblical God is responsible for the universe. What can I do, my mind is more inclined to understand the controversial over the scientific that composed the bulk of the book. Anyway. Since then, I tried to learn as much about him as possible. I saw Benedict Cumberbatch' Hawking (which was terrific!) and later on, I watched Eddie Redmayne's The Theory of Everything (which was even more terrific). I haven't read the novel from which it was based but the movie was good enough to complement what I already know of him. I'm a fan! Wow. Of all the things he stands for, I guess the best piece of wisdom he shares is his warning to everyone about developing a machine that is more advanced than the human counterpart. He's among the most prominent beneficiaries of Artificial Intelligence yet he's also among the most prominent who warns against its danger.




But there are dangers associated to big minds. Perhaps Sherlock Holmes and Sheldon Cooper, although both are only fictional characters, embody the concept that when someone has too much of a thing, he also has something that is lacking. Most often, a high IQ begets a low EQ. The idea of "putting one's self into another's shoe" that we learn when we are young is not something that is present in a genius. And then there's hubris. It comes with the territory, I guess. When someone knows that he is superior, it is expected that he thinks he's incapable of being wrong. There are other perils in being a genius but I'm most particular about the Genius' difficulty in forging relationships the way others his age can. What prompted me to talk about this topic is knowing that someone I care for deeply is due to take tests that will determine if she's a genius or someone with a different condition. Ever since she was born, she has been different. She's only 5 years old yet her command of Math, reading, and Science are advanced. She's so good in academics yet she has problems in relating to anyone. A few days ago, her doctors advised her parents to have her checked because her brain movements are much advanced compared to her peers. People like her need more attention than say, people like me whose difference from others is only rooted on shallow views. And people like her will demand special attention for the rest of their lives.



The final verdict? For someone who wishes to leave an imprint on the world when it's my time to leave, it's easy to wish for a brain that's more than capable. Those with genius-level capabilities tend to make impact on the world more than the rest. But when I get right down to it, they suffer from a difficulty that the rest do not even know of. It's difficult to say which group has the better in life. But personally, I'm somehow contented with the limited thinking that I possess because in a world where relating to someone else is very important for survival, an equal level of IQ and EQ is most effective. Or maybe it's just the Marketing graduate in me whose training is all about connecting people.