"What I demand of myself, I cannot demand of everyone."

“I know that when a supersexy older girl with hips and breasts and nice hair wants to take off your glasses and to paint you a smoky eye she's merely trying to enroll you in a beauty contest she's already won. It's a kind of slummy, condescending gesture, like when rich people ask poor people where they summer. To me, this smacks of a blatant, insensitive "let them eat cake" type of chauvinism.” 

I have recently read 2 brilliant novels, both of which I have rated with 4 out of 5 stars in Goodreads (by recently, I meant that I finished these 1st week of May). They hit the kind of humor that I strongly albeit secretly subscribe to: insensitive and unapologetic. Just kidding, the books were just really funny. And they’re both my first from each authors.

Jacket with wool lining: Abercrombie & Fitch | Inner top: Zara | Pants and bonnet: Uniqlo | Boots: from department store in US | Sunnies: Oakley | Bag: Balenciaga City | Scarf: H&M

"It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities."

I have read a few of Palahniuk’s quotes while browsing Pinterest. I’ve pinned some of them without having read the book whence they came from just because they were downright offensively funny, just the uncustomary straight-in-your-face rebuttal that I find hilarious (trust me, I’ve recently learned that not everyone appreciates this kind of humor. Or was it just my delivery that made the entire supposedly humorous situation overly offensive? Hmmm). Anyway. For my first Palahniuk novel, I bought “Damned”, the book where the cover looks like an inebriated evilmonger. Certainly the book wasn’t a conflict-resolved case (I read that 2 more are coming after?) and that it was more of a thrill-along-the-way kind of read but just the same, I loved it!

"Few marriages sustain the high level of passion that exists between criminals and those who seek to bring them to justice. It’s no wonder the Zodiac Killer flirted so relentlessly with the police. Or that Jack the Ripper courted and baited detectives with his - or her - coy letters. We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired."

The premise was very simple: a chubby well-bred, well-groomed, well off 13-year old girl died and went to Hell. While there, she became overlord, besting out the likes of Hitler as she stayed longer. Instead of resenting the toxic place that was Hell, she started embracing it. Here comes the bummer: whilst enjoying her growing power, she was told that there has been a mix-up, that she wasn’t supposed to be in Hell in the first place. Bla, bla, bla. It’s a formulaic plot and the plot itself didn’t astound me. What made me decide to file it under the rest of my beloved 4-star books is that, I found it refreshing and amusing to read a novel that showcased a different type of humor. Yes yes, I quite agree that senseless, idiotic, and stupid jokes are funny. I even share them on an every hour basis with my colleague at work. I also agree that some smart jokes are funny too (of course I’m not discounting the fact that perhaps I only consider “some” and not “all” to be funny because I mostly do not understand smart jokes). And have you read my favorite book, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray? That’s a treasure trove of funny insults. 

Aside from its humor, I liked how the book made its stand on religion:

“All the demons of Hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. As each subsequent civilization became a dominant power, among its first acts was to depose and demonize whoever the previous culture had worshipped."

It makes sense, doesn't it? I have long been trying to find logic and sense in religion until I've decided that I can classify it among those things under "To Each His Own". Believe in what works for you just as have respect for what works for others.

"It is an old refrain — everybody agrees that the rats must be exterminated, but when it comes down to it, sympathy for the individual rat is huge. Only sympathy, mind you; there is no desire to keep the rat. The two must not be confused."

The 2nd book that I couldn't help myself from gushing about and sharing with everyone I know who reads, is Timur Vermes' Look Who's Back. Every now and then, I never failed in mentioning that among the stories that greatly interest me is those which happened during the Regime of the Nazis. But, it's not because I share the same ideology. My beliefs are far from it, in fact. It's just because the atrocities committed then, all in the name of upholding a racial belief, has always evoked the most melancholic thoughts from me. There's no logic that can be found in the most heinous crime ever committed against humanity. Hitler, by means of command-responsibility, is single-handedly the worst creature that was ever blessed with a brain. These are my quick two-cents about the historical Hitler.

"An idiot who does idiotic things is not funny."

"Well, I was certainly planning to demonstrate my importance, but it was doubtful whether they would be able to handle it."

Now, on to my thoughts on the literary Hitler. I came across the book one afternoon when I was supposed to meet up with my college best friend. I arrived 30mins earlier than agreed upon so I went straight to Fully Booked. I saw the book, bought it, and showed up to the meeting place 23 minutes late. Well, what can I do, the book was surprisingly humorous. Tasteless, sure (if only because any attempt to downplay Hitler's crimes are considered as such). But it's certainly fun. Very briefly, the book is about Hitler who has woken up from his suicide in 1945 only to be met with the changes in 2011. With his rancour and wit in check, he rose to fame as a social media sensation. This book, just like Damned, is not a book with a destination in mind. It's a book that's meant to thrill its readers along the way.

The Hitler in this novel is witty, insightful, definitely not "the half-breed of indeterminate lineage", and quite possibly "the choice of Fate herself". If anything, I'd say that this novel could be the humorous novel counterpart of Machiavelli's The Prince. Or fine, it could be the lighter brother of historical Hitler's Mein Kampf. In short, I was highly entertained with the Hitler in this novel. I can even go and say, I share plenty of similar beliefs with this literary Hitler. 

"I am the ambassador for uncompromising opinions."

The book was well-researched too. Its nuggets of historical accuracies added to the few facts that I know of about the Holocaust. I never bothered knowing about Goebbels, Himmler, Goring, Bormann, and all those other SS officials. It doesn't matter if the Holocaust began because of Hitler's desire to purify the German race and was only blown out of proportions because of the likes of Himmler. It doesn't matter if in the future, evidences could prove that Hitler's role in it was only in planting the seed of idea and that his officials were the ones who interpreted and acted on this idea thus commanding the genocide. None of these would matter because as literary Hitler said, "the Fuhrer's unique talent is not the accumulation of dry facts - his unique talent is rapid decision-making, and assuming responsibility for those decisions". I guess it's because rarely do people assume accountability for their rash decisions that when I see someone do it, I end up admiring him. 

"I liked that. No prevaricating, no excuses, just an unswerving acknowledgement of one's errors, and a promise to make amends for these autonomously."

"And to all you romantics and gullible souls, who imagine that these devious parasites possess an extraordinary astuteness to match their allegedly superior intelligence - well, I'm afraid I have to disappoint you."

All photos were taken last December 2016 when the family went to Washington DC. All quotes were lifted from the 2 books that were discussed. 

Red Riding Hood

I've been trying to update the blog since last week but my attention was caught elsewhere. You see, I was trying to piece my thoughts on the books I've just finished reading last month when 'less pressing matters', namely work, demanded my full attention and so sadly, my supposedly enlightening book-related post has been temporarily sidelined. What a bummer (also, yes, I was writing my thoughts down while at work). I'll post that before the month slips away.

Cap: Adidas| Shoes: New Balance 501 | Scarf: H&M | Bag: Balenciaga City | Gloves: Uniqlo | Heat-tech Leggings and tights: Uniqlo| Red coat: from a local store (gotten either in Hong Kong or in Seoul. I can't remember from which city but I'm sure it's from a local store)

For this post, let me begin with narrating that a couple of hours ago on this fine Sunday Father's Day afternoon, I was catching up on the last few episodes of season 10 of Big Bang Theory when I realized that Sheldon's new laptop resembles my younger brother's laptop! Forgive me should I in any way offend anyone's technological-sensibilities but when I first saw Gio's black Alienware laptop last December, I thought it was cute in a novelty item sort of way and so I didn't really look at it with the proper eyes that I should have had. Now I'm impressed beyond words just because one of my favorite fictional characters is also using it. I borrowed the said laptop as I'm typing and transferring photos now as my way of apologizing for the technology snub I've committed last December.

Fully 'schooled' by Sheldon Cooper no less, let me proceed with what I was supposed to write for today. My favorite type of vacation is going someplace with my immediate family. I'm very close with everyone at home, from my parents to my 2 brothers, and even to the Ates so it's no wonder that when in an unfamiliar place, I feel most comfortable with the people I am with on an everyday basis. Of course it doesn't hurt that vacation with parents means that it's an all-expense paid for trip so I don't have to worry about subjecting my savings to agony again Hahahahaha. Kidding aside (was I?), it's true. I always look forward to going away with my family. Trips with them always end up being the best trip of the year. Photos in this set were taken in Great Falls Park in Maryland USA.  My Mom's brothers and their families were also with us as well as the 3 Grandmoms. 

(we were joined by the park rangers who patiently took our family photos)

There's one more thing that I want to briefly talk about here. Superhero movies of late have been very impressive, haven't they? I watched the last full show of Logan on its first day as I've been anticipating it since Marvel released its trailer with the Johnny Cash song playing as its background music. I'm probably echoing the sentiments of the thousands of reviews of the movie but let me add in those who praised the script and agreed that it's been the most succinct and poignant way to bid farewell to Jackman's Wolverine. I've enjoyed my English classes as a student. I clearly remember the many times that my teachers drilled into my mind that stories have this Story Arc where each part of the story can be categorized into. My favorite has always been the Rising Action part or the Chase as it's always served as the most thrilling part. I love a good build-up, where there is confusion but it's the good and exciting type. Understandably, I hated the Falling Action part as it's where the remains of uncertainty lie. If I were to chart X-Men's timeline into a Story Arc, I would say that Logan is in the Falling Action part. The story just showed that after the heyday, the glory, and the power, there will come a point where all of it will end. We've seen a Wolverine with debilitating health and a Professor X who's on the onset of senility. It was painful to see them reduced to the characters in Logan when you have always associated them with the group that saves the world while in leather. It was quite a leap. And for that reason, the characters have become more human, more prone to bursts of emotions. The film was great. Brilliant even. It was worth the remark on my tardiness the following day when I reported to work a solid 1 hour and 30 minutes late.

And then there's Lego Batman Movie. In a 2014 post, I mentioned that Batman is my favorite superhero. I would always love Nolan-Bale's rendition and their trilogy would perhaps be among my favorite trilogies of all time but I've a new favorite Batman movie. Now, it's the Lego movie. It was just so funny and punny that it's been such a refreshing version of Batman. Finally, here came a version that pokes fun of his character's aloof, anguished, sad rich kid's persona; and was brilliantly funny at it too without sacrificing the nuggets of emotions that can be sipped off of the stoic playboy. The film was funny but never stupid. 

Both films revolved around the idea that no matter how great an individual is, nothing would compare to having others who have your back, who would understand when your mood doesn't quite fit into the current situation, who would see past your transgressions, who would call you out when you're being too stubborn or too illogical or too snobbish, and who would want to have you in their lives for as long as possible. That's quite a long description which I guess could be shortened to 'family'.

The alien button of the laptop is blinking. Perhaps to signal that the battery is draining? Oh well, that's it for now. I've posted entries that are connected to this one HERE, HERE, and HERE. 

"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time."

"...That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

I had a pre-birthday celebration last 5 January 2017 in Olive Garden in Virginia which was sponsored by my very generous Tito (who had no choice as I made a declaration that I’ll treat everybody only to a salad party). I love steak and it’s thanks to him that I got to enjoy a plate of medium-rare steak with  lobster ravioli on top of the salad hehehe

Coat: Atmosphere | Fleece turtleneck: Uniqlo | Pants and necklace: Zara | Wallet used as bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction | Pumps: Christian Louboutin Victorina Flame

I’ve turned another year older, and I’ve now entered the onset of mid-twenties so I guess somehow, without meaning to, things have changed. I’m still selfish, but only around 77% compared the staggering 100% of High Schooler me. I’m still impulsive but I already know the difference between what I’ll need for only 3 months as opposed to what can benefit me in a longer period. I still hold grudges but I’m mostly indifferent now. I still shop but no longer uncontrollably. These days, I set limit and actually follow through. I still get stressed in work but no longer too stressed that I let it stay in my mind for days. I’m still generally immature but at least now I know that there’s no point in trying to find logic in a mistake I’ve done. Then again, there’s still the part of me, a big chunk, that greatly embraces happiness brought by material objects (like say, the pumps I’m wearing in this set) hehehehe

Perhaps it's the Ego that predominantly does the talking these days that's why anything that I do work-wise, I can't rest without having my superior acknowledge that I've done something good. It's instant validation that I'm seeking for - a concept that's been the topic of discussion between my good friend and I. Charge it to us being young ambitious girls who are on the cusp of becoming adults, that the only sign of success we accept is constant validation from our respective bosses. They say we should find validation from within ourselves but at the stage where I'm currently at, to hell with those overbearing individualistic supposedly present voices from within. I need to hear that I'm good at what I'm doing from the person who knows the standard of good in the industry, and that's not me. Hahahaha. I only have a few more years to be understandably insecure, lost, shallow, and unfailingly pessimistic so until I can somehow say I'm stable, please by hook or by crook, let me be.

There's this side of me that says I should stop worrying about the future, that I should just do what I'm already doing for an indefinite period, that there's no hurry since I have the rest of my life to figure out what it is that I would want to do. Then again, there's an even bigger part that says I've to hustle because no one else would bear my cross for me. If I let someone else stir the wheel for me, I might end up blaming that someone if I don't reach the destination that I foresee for myself.

I think it was sometime in the last quarter of 2016 when I chanced upon this short story about the Velveteen Rabbit. Lately, I've passed on my novels in favor of short stories that hold symbolism and metaphors that can rival those of what a novel tried to tell in its thousands of pages. Asimov's The Last Question is still on top of the most thought-provoking short story I've read but Margery Williams' The Velveteen Rabbit is a close runner up. (Yeah yeah, I know. Technically it's not a short story but anything that can be finished in around 20 or less minutes is considered a short story to me). It's about a toy rabbit that wants to become real. The story somehow reminded me of Toy Story and The Little Prince. Oh well. Too much existential dilemma does no one any good. So until the next post.

Here's to a fun 2017!

Welcome to New York

For the sake of easier comprehension, let's categorize the 3 families into Valles of US, Valles of Australia, and Valle - Peraltas of the Philippines. The last 2 families drove to New York to supposedly attend the famous Ball Drop in time for the New Year Celebration however, as later on proven, New York is not suitable for kids. Which makes me wonder how Kevin had so much fun all by himself. I digress. Prior to the trip, I've been most excited to visit New York. Suffice to say, I've had the most fun in there as it was only in New York that all my usual selfish reasoning and babbles had the chance to come alive (hehehehe I particularly indulged my selfish side when my parents ordered my brothers to accompany me in Saks Fifth Avenue). Just kidding. My Mom didn't fall short in reminding me that the main purpose of the entire trip has been to "build memories with the Valles".

Trench coat: Atmosphere | Top: borrowed jacket | White pants: Stradivarius | Boots: from department store in US | Bag: Balenciaga

I've always loved the energy in New York. Kind locals to tourists? Forget it. Everyone seems to always be chasing after something. That pedestrian light that goes on and off? It's just there to serve as 'guidance' so it is generally up to you when you'll cross the street (very much like in the Philippines). Respectful private drivers? "Get out of my way beep beep" (another very much like the Philippines). 'It's orderly in the US' ideology? Oh come on, don't fool me. Pet-friendly? The only animals I see there are rodents the size of a cat. Still want to go there? YES, BY A HUNDREDFOLD!

My aunts think that New York is the fulfillment of the illusory American Dream, depicted by movies and songs as this 'concrete jungle where dreams are made of' when in fact, it's nothing but a hype. For me, though, New York IS among those places I'd want to go back to over and over again. Everywhere I looked amazed me: the Christmas display of Saks and Macy's, the cold winter breeze, the seemingly 'uprooted' trees due to the season, the different languages that fill one's ears, the high taxes added to every purchase no matter where you shop, the long walks, the dreadful traffic, the yellow cab driver who demanded for "Christmas tip" on top of the meter, the snobbish sales associates who would look at you from head to toe and reluctantly give you your size so when you actually buy the pair without asking for its price they seem surprised and eventually treat you as though you're their best friend, the equally snobbish other shopper whom you saw looked at you with judgmental eyes and was equally surprised when she heard you ask for the designer pair using its actual name and evenly more surprised when you whipped out your wallet and handed payment for the pair she knew costed a lot, the once rude sales associate from the other brand which you initially visited who gave you the once over and decided you're not worth her time so she chose to talk to the next customer who walked in the shop only to give you the second glance when you returned to the shop with the paperbag containing the recent purchase which is a statement on its own and so she left another customer in favor of you, the entrepreneurial guy who sold "dope candies for adults" beside his van painted with different flavors of his "doped" lollies despite knowing that drugs are not legal in the state, and lastly, the Rockefeller Center which clearly failed to serve as the perfect background for my Kevin-McAllister-in-New-York-dreams as the tourists littering the area just wouldn't stop pushing.

Just the same, New York is known to be the place where you can be whoever you wish to be if you only have the guts to do so. Say what you want about NYC but it still holds my complete devotion captive. Whereas others see its snobbishness as a con, I consider it among NYC's best characteristics. See, that's the thing about New York. You can judge whatever and whomever you want to judge and still end up being proven wrong.

I LOVE NEW YORK!

On a side note, I bought the pair of boots I'm wearing in this set with this design from King Ranch Saddle Shop as inspiration:

The title's from Taylor Swift's 1989 album, which I was able to completely listen to

for the 1st time on the plane ride from Manila to Washington Dulles. Also,

Taylor's billboards are all over Times Square so it's fitting that her song's

been made the title