“What would you grab, if you had to pack up your life in only minutes?”

Let me precede this entry with saying that during these past months where we have been in quarantine due to the growing cases of covid-afflicted patients, I have done nothing but watch all the shows that I've always wanted to but couldn't because life has always gotten in the way. And then the nationwide quarantine came. I now have all the time in the world to just laze in front of the TV and absorb as much random information as I can from the shows that have fascinated me for years now. I'd like to believe that I'm a mentally stable person who just happens to be overly fascinated with crime scene investigations. I've been teased so many times by my brothers and a few close friends because sometimes, I can't stop my verbal vomit of how forensic science has conclusively solved a murder investigation. And it's true, my Netflix account is used primarily to watch the 20-minute episodes of Forensic Files. It makes me feel safe knowing that the technology of today is no longer as unreliable as it used to be. I'm relieved to know that a criminal, no matter how organized and attentive to detail he is, can no longer commit the so-called perfect crime. It is while watching this show that I encountered the story of an archbishop who turned out to be a Nazi sympathizer in his past. 

“Good people are good people; religion has nothing to do with it.”

Last Feb 2019, one of my closest friends and I embarked on a 3wk Eurotrip. Despite consistently having a European country in my bucketlist of countries to visit before I turn so and so, it's only been last year that I finally had the chance to go. Since most of the intellectual figures whom I heavily obsessed on at one point in my life came from Europe, I've always thought that there's something in the European waters that have either produced or inspired brilliance to spring forth. Not to mention that Europe as a whole seems to have an abundance of natural beauty. 

Dress: Calvin Klein | Boots: from a department store in US | Bag: Prada | Sunglasses: Ray-Ban | Heattech used as Inner top: Uniqlo | Earrings: borrowed from my friend Tatiana

In the first paragraph, I was referring to Valerian Trifa, who served as Archbishop of Detroit. He entered USA under the false pretenses that he was a Romanian victim of the Holocaust. He was granted the US citizenship and worked his way up the ranks in the Church. Other Romanian refugees who sought asylum in the US identified him as a member of the Iron Guard and was responsible for the death of hundreds of Jews in Romania, all in the service of the Fuhrer. Despite his initial denial of his past, he was eventually stripped off of his US citizenship and he was asked to leave the US after living there for more than 40yrs. Forensic scientists proved that the Archbishop's penmanship matched positively to the penmanship of the person whom he was accused of being. His official church documents were compared to the penmanship found on a postcard which was signed by a vacationing Iron Guard member in Germany, that was dated in the 1940s. Moreover, the same postcard bore his thumbprint (which was only identified in the 1980s because that's when technology finally caught up). He died at the age of 72yrs old, in a city in Portugal, the only country that accepted him after learning of his past. 

“It’s a little convenient, isn’t it, to say that the reason you did something horrible was because someone else told you to. That doesn’t make it any less wrong. No matter how many people are telling you to jump off a bridge, you always have the option to turn around and walk away.”

Perhaps the first time that I ever became aware of the existence of the US' Office of Special Investigations was when I read Jodi Picoult's The Storyteller in 2013 (all the quotes in this post, including the title that I've used are lifted from this but I will write my thoughts on the book extensively in a separate post). Imagine my interest in learning that so many of the SS officers fled to the US under false pretenses to escape the consequences of the horrible crime that they've committed during WWII. A lot of them have successfully escaped for various reasons but perhaps among the biggest was, their conviction heavily relied on the accounts of the survivors. I won't pretend that I know about physiological changes so I'm assuming that it would be difficult to assume how one person would look like when you add 30 - 40 yrs to his age. How difficult it must be to identify a 70yr old everyday guy to be the same person who tortured you decades ago. 

“Power isn't about doing something terrible to someone who's weaker than you, Reiner. It's having the strength to do something terrible, and choosing not to.”

I think that people like Trifa, or John Demjanjuk (the SS guard who also made a life in the US after his stint in the concentration camps but was later on tried in Israel for his war crimes), thought that they deserve a second chance. Maybe they thought that they were just pawns in the chess game. In the case of Trifa particularly, perhaps he thought that he can atone for his participation in the murder of hundreds of Jews by serving the Church in the latter part of his life. He was a Nazi sympathizer in his youth only to become a man of the Church in his adulthood. But the question is, are their crimes pardonable to begin with? What about the lives of the millions of those who suffered just because they happened to believe in a different Being?  Who can judge if the repentance of people like Trifa is enough to compensate for the millions of lives that they've disregarded? Can their form of repentance ever be enough?

“It's easy to say you will do what's right and shun what's wrong, but when you get close enough to any given situation, you realize that there is no black or white. There are gradations of gray.”

In light with everything that's happening worldwide, I just wish that humankind would learn from the past. Discrimination is rampant; it always has been. We've known that it's what caused the greatest atrocities committed against humanity yet we cannot fully reject it. How come people only know better after committing the crime? As an answer to whether the crimes committed during the Holocaust is pardonable or not, I personally agree that regardless of the age, those who have participated must not have the right to enjoy the remaining years of their life in freedom. There are some sins that cannot be forgiven. They might be 'mere pawns' as they have limited their role to be, but it was a role nonetheless. If there won't be any roles, then there wouldn't have been murders. It's a system that requires the thinkers or the heads and the hands or the pawns who would act on what the former has decided on. I think that punishing them is not a retribution because after all, the dead will not return to life, but rather, it's a message to all those who would dare commit such a crime again. It's a message that says, we will all be accountable for our own actions, no matter how big or how small we think them to be. At the end of the day, we get to choose the person who we are going to be. 

“There was no black or white. Someone who had been good her entire life could, in fact, do something evil. People were just as capable of committing murder, under the right circumstances, as any monster.”

These photos were taken in Ljubljana, Slovenia last 15 Feb 2019. (I couldn't imagine going on this trip with anyone else but you, Tats! Thank you for joining me despite the less than 2wks notice)

"Respond to Every Call That Excites Your Spirit"

Oh how I miss the cold season. Perhaps it’s because I’m from a tropical country where it’s perpetually summer time that my favorite travel period is during the winter season. I am a happy wanderer so long as it’s cold because I get cranky when it’s hot. I feel uncomfortable when the sun is glaring down at me causing me to feel the incessant sweat trickling down my face. I can’t think well when it’s too hot, period. Thus I rarely willingly agree to go on trips abroad if the climate is just the same as in Manila. Of course, trips to the beach are different. But that’s for another post.

OH HELLOOOOOOOO! Look who’s back!! Hahahahahaha I was deleting useless mails in my account over the weekend when I saw some email threads pertaining to this blog. I was about to embark on a boring photo-less trip down the memory lane when surprise, surprise, I saw that my photos are up again! Thank you, Photo Bucket. You’re such a reliable partner!! (I’m still not paying though hahahaha).

Ever the lazy narrator, I have missed plenty of opportunities to collate my thoughts into written words just because I succumbed to the tempting nudges  of laziness. For this post, there won’t be any “ideas” or whatever term you can coin my “thoughts”. I’m just going to tell stories and snippets from a travel that has set the tone of 2018 for me. Call it my sentimental musings, if you will. To begin with, others say I’m not sentimental although I’d like to believe that I am considering that I have this online blog and my mostly forgotten diary just to talk about a particularly memorable memory. Oh well. Anyway, today’s lengthy post would be about the joint-birthday trip last January 2018 with my college best friend. What better way to revive this blog than to share photos from one of probably the most magical, if not the most, place I’ve been to by far. Lina and I spent a 5-day (6 if the transit would be counted) trip in Harbin, China.

Rumi’s words, which I entitled this post with, surprisingly became true while we were in Harbin. It seemed that the universe conspired towards bringing Lina and I to that resplendent cold place. We’ve initially booked tickets going to Shanghai 10 months prior to the trip. However, unfortunate circumstances demanded that we change the itinerary abruptly. We were geared towards booking tickets from Shanghai to Guilin (we’ve even semi-drawn the itinerary too) but alas alas, I came across photos (not even an article!) of beautifully lighted ice sculptures taken from Harbin. 7-8 days before the flight to Shanghai, Lina and I booked domestic tickets to Harbin. 6 days prior to the trip, we had to scour for hotel accommodation as it’s among the requirements in obtaining the Chinese visa. 2-3days before the trip, our visas were released. 1 day prior to the trip, we were still doing last-minute booking of accommodations as we finalized our itinerary. It was only then as well that we’ve realized that Harbin is not like the other places we’ve visited during winter time. Winter in Harbin is another story altogether. With only hours before the departure time, we were still trying to pack as much thermal clothes as we possibly could find. (On a side note, this is where Zalora saved the day. Lina and I were able to buy our matching faux fur jacket, and have it delivered to us on time). So you see, it was as if the universe wanted to take us to Harbin.   

Of course it’s not a typical Gellie-travel if there won’t be a problem at all Hahahaha perhaps too much excitement caused the oversight but Lina and I forgot to exchange our cash to CNY prior to the trip. Worse, we’ve booked our hotel accommodation 30 or so mins away from the city proper that the banks near our hotel strictly followed the no-work on Sundays rule. We were completely without money for an entire day. An entire day was wasted but oh well. On our 2^nd day, we’ve been wiser and richer than the day before that’s why we were able to embark on an adventure. Harbin is geographically nearer to some cities in Russia than Shanghai or Beijing and so the Russian influences were all over the city. Our first activity was to roam around the central district where the Saint Sophia Cathedral is located. It was there that lines of shops selling winter gear including our Russian-inspired hats were sold.

Don’t be fooled by the big smiley faces. When the temperature began going down to -15°C, so was our patience thinning. Put 2 hot-tempered, mostly-self-centered, and headstrong girls in a battle of wills and you’ll have the depth of friendship between them really tested Hahahahaha Suffice to say, I have declared Lina as my college best friend after this trip. Our friendship surprisingly, albeit much-appreciated, surpassed the test of patience. See these following photos? They were taken by random strangers because we were in different coffee shops by then (is this too personal to publish here, Lins? HAHAHAHA)

Tantrums aside, Zhongyang street is beautiful at night!! And there's this lighted "tunnel" that played various musical compositions of Mozart, Beethoven, and Tchaikovsky (at least during our walk through it, they were the only composers whom my little knowledge recognized)

My favorite day of the trip was when we went to both Sun Island and Ice and Snow World. I love how beautiful and cold and mysterious and deep snow seems to be. There weren’t too many tourists in Sun Island when we went there. In fact, there were areas where there weren’t anyone at all save for Lina and I. Towards night time, we transferred to Ice and Snow World in time to see the ice sculptures lighted up. Believe me when I say that I have been overwhelmed by the entire place. Everywhere just looked like a feast to the eyes. It was also then than the temperature went down from -30° to -35/40°. I found out that despite the layers of thermal clothes, my bubble jacket, gloves, and ear muffs, I couldn’t last more than 2hrs outside without making my fingers freeze. All thanks to iPhone’s BURST for capturing hundreds of photos in one go because otherwise, we wouldn’t have much photos given that we couldn’t feel our fingers anymore.  

To summarize how Lina and I fell in love with Harbin, let me copy one of my posts from my Instagram account:

“Just to reach Harbin, it took us both international and domestic flights, an excess baggage fee of 350CNY, barely used VPN subscription, and 2 traumatizing cab incidents (1 charged us exorbitantly and smoked inside the cab the entire time without letting us open the windows while the other left us stranded in the middle of who knows where). But surprisingly, the city also has among the most accommodating locals to tourists, from the staff at the hotel down to the police officers who approached us whenever we’re trying to haggle with the cab drivers and the locals who randomly joined our conversations just to translate for us. I will return (with thermal shoes, now that I know better), if only for the warmth welcome from such a literally cold place!”

"What I demand of myself, I cannot demand of everyone."

“I know that when a supersexy older girl with hips and breasts and nice hair wants to take off your glasses and to paint you a smoky eye she's merely trying to enroll you in a beauty contest she's already won. It's a kind of slummy, condescending gesture, like when rich people ask poor people where they summer. To me, this smacks of a blatant, insensitive "let them eat cake" type of chauvinism.” 

I have recently read 2 brilliant novels, both of which I have rated with 4 out of 5 stars in Goodreads (by recently, I meant that I finished these 1st week of May). They hit the kind of humor that I strongly albeit secretly subscribe to: insensitive and unapologetic. Just kidding, the books were just really funny. And they’re both my first from each authors.

Jacket with wool lining: Abercrombie & Fitch | Inner top: Zara | Pants and bonnet: Uniqlo | Boots: from department store in US | Sunnies: Oakley | Bag: Balenciaga City | Scarf: H&M

"It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities."

I have read a few of Palahniuk’s quotes while browsing Pinterest. I’ve pinned some of them without having read the book whence they came from just because they were downright offensively funny, just the uncustomary straight-in-your-face rebuttal that I find hilarious (trust me, I’ve recently learned that not everyone appreciates this kind of humor. Or was it just my delivery that made the entire supposedly humorous situation overly offensive? Hmmm). Anyway. For my first Palahniuk novel, I bought “Damned”, the book where the cover looks like an inebriated evilmonger. Certainly the book wasn’t a conflict-resolved case (I read that 2 more are coming after?) and that it was more of a thrill-along-the-way kind of read but just the same, I loved it!

"Few marriages sustain the high level of passion that exists between criminals and those who seek to bring them to justice. It’s no wonder the Zodiac Killer flirted so relentlessly with the police. Or that Jack the Ripper courted and baited detectives with his - or her - coy letters. We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired."

The premise was very simple: a chubby well-bred, well-groomed, well off 13-year old girl died and went to Hell. While there, she became overlord, besting out the likes of Hitler as she stayed longer. Instead of resenting the toxic place that was Hell, she started embracing it. Here comes the bummer: whilst enjoying her growing power, she was told that there has been a mix-up, that she wasn’t supposed to be in Hell in the first place. Bla, bla, bla. It’s a formulaic plot and the plot itself didn’t astound me. What made me decide to file it under the rest of my beloved 4-star books is that, I found it refreshing and amusing to read a novel that showcased a different type of humor. Yes yes, I quite agree that senseless, idiotic, and stupid jokes are funny. I even share them on an every hour basis with my colleague at work. I also agree that some smart jokes are funny too (of course I’m not discounting the fact that perhaps I only consider “some” and not “all” to be funny because I mostly do not understand smart jokes). And have you read my favorite book, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray? That’s a treasure trove of funny insults. 

Aside from its humor, I liked how the book made its stand on religion:

“All the demons of Hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. As each subsequent civilization became a dominant power, among its first acts was to depose and demonize whoever the previous culture had worshipped."

It makes sense, doesn't it? I have long been trying to find logic and sense in religion until I've decided that I can classify it among those things under "To Each His Own". Believe in what works for you just as have respect for what works for others.

"It is an old refrain — everybody agrees that the rats must be exterminated, but when it comes down to it, sympathy for the individual rat is huge. Only sympathy, mind you; there is no desire to keep the rat. The two must not be confused."

The 2nd book that I couldn't help myself from gushing about and sharing with everyone I know who reads, is Timur Vermes' Look Who's Back. Every now and then, I never failed in mentioning that among the stories that greatly interest me is those which happened during the Regime of the Nazis. But, it's not because I share the same ideology. My beliefs are far from it, in fact. It's just because the atrocities committed then, all in the name of upholding a racial belief, has always evoked the most melancholic thoughts from me. There's no logic that can be found in the most heinous crime ever committed against humanity. Hitler, by means of command-responsibility, is single-handedly the worst creature that was ever blessed with a brain. These are my quick two-cents about the historical Hitler.

"An idiot who does idiotic things is not funny."

"Well, I was certainly planning to demonstrate my importance, but it was doubtful whether they would be able to handle it."

Now, on to my thoughts on the literary Hitler. I came across the book one afternoon when I was supposed to meet up with my college best friend. I arrived 30mins earlier than agreed upon so I went straight to Fully Booked. I saw the book, bought it, and showed up to the meeting place 23 minutes late. Well, what can I do, the book was surprisingly humorous. Tasteless, sure (if only because any attempt to downplay Hitler's crimes are considered as such). But it's certainly fun. Very briefly, the book is about Hitler who has woken up from his suicide in 1945 only to be met with the changes in 2011. With his rancour and wit in check, he rose to fame as a social media sensation. This book, just like Damned, is not a book with a destination in mind. It's a book that's meant to thrill its readers along the way.

The Hitler in this novel is witty, insightful, definitely not "the half-breed of indeterminate lineage", and quite possibly "the choice of Fate herself". If anything, I'd say that this novel could be the humorous novel counterpart of Machiavelli's The Prince. Or fine, it could be the lighter brother of historical Hitler's Mein Kampf. In short, I was highly entertained with the Hitler in this novel. I can even go and say, I share plenty of similar beliefs with this literary Hitler. 

"I am the ambassador for uncompromising opinions."

The book was well-researched too. Its nuggets of historical accuracies added to the few facts that I know of about the Holocaust. I never bothered knowing about Goebbels, Himmler, Goring, Bormann, and all those other SS officials. It doesn't matter if the Holocaust began because of Hitler's desire to purify the German race and was only blown out of proportions because of the likes of Himmler. It doesn't matter if in the future, evidences could prove that Hitler's role in it was only in planting the seed of idea and that his officials were the ones who interpreted and acted on this idea thus commanding the genocide. None of these would matter because as literary Hitler said, "the Fuhrer's unique talent is not the accumulation of dry facts - his unique talent is rapid decision-making, and assuming responsibility for those decisions". I guess it's because rarely do people assume accountability for their rash decisions that when I see someone do it, I end up admiring him. 

"I liked that. No prevaricating, no excuses, just an unswerving acknowledgement of one's errors, and a promise to make amends for these autonomously."

"And to all you romantics and gullible souls, who imagine that these devious parasites possess an extraordinary astuteness to match their allegedly superior intelligence - well, I'm afraid I have to disappoint you."

All photos were taken last December 2016 when the family went to Washington DC. All quotes were lifted from the 2 books that were discussed.