"It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time."

"...That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

I had a pre-birthday celebration last 5 January 2017 in Olive Garden in Virginia which was sponsored by my very generous Tito (who had no choice as I made a declaration that I’ll treat everybody only to a salad party). I love steak and it’s thanks to him that I got to enjoy a plate of medium-rare steak with  lobster ravioli on top of the salad hehehe

Coat: Atmosphere | Fleece turtleneck: Uniqlo | Pants and necklace: Zara | Wallet used as bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction | Pumps: Christian Louboutin Victorina Flame

I’ve turned another year older, and I’ve now entered the onset of mid-twenties so I guess somehow, without meaning to, things have changed. I’m still selfish, but only around 77% compared the staggering 100% of High Schooler me. I’m still impulsive but I already know the difference between what I’ll need for only 3 months as opposed to what can benefit me in a longer period. I still hold grudges but I’m mostly indifferent now. I still shop but no longer uncontrollably. These days, I set limit and actually follow through. I still get stressed in work but no longer too stressed that I let it stay in my mind for days. I’m still generally immature but at least now I know that there’s no point in trying to find logic in a mistake I’ve done. Then again, there’s still the part of me, a big chunk, that greatly embraces happiness brought by material objects (like say, the pumps I’m wearing in this set) hehehehe

Perhaps it's the Ego that predominantly does the talking these days that's why anything that I do work-wise, I can't rest without having my superior acknowledge that I've done something good. It's instant validation that I'm seeking for - a concept that's been the topic of discussion between my good friend and I. Charge it to us being young ambitious girls who are on the cusp of becoming adults, that the only sign of success we accept is constant validation from our respective bosses. They say we should find validation from within ourselves but at the stage where I'm currently at, to hell with those overbearing individualistic supposedly present voices from within. I need to hear that I'm good at what I'm doing from the person who knows the standard of good in the industry, and that's not me. Hahahaha. I only have a few more years to be understandably insecure, lost, shallow, and unfailingly pessimistic so until I can somehow say I'm stable, please by hook or by crook, let me be.

There's this side of me that says I should stop worrying about the future, that I should just do what I'm already doing for an indefinite period, that there's no hurry since I have the rest of my life to figure out what it is that I would want to do. Then again, there's an even bigger part that says I've to hustle because no one else would bear my cross for me. If I let someone else stir the wheel for me, I might end up blaming that someone if I don't reach the destination that I foresee for myself.

I think it was sometime in the last quarter of 2016 when I chanced upon this short story about the Velveteen Rabbit. Lately, I've passed on my novels in favor of short stories that hold symbolism and metaphors that can rival those of what a novel tried to tell in its thousands of pages. Asimov's The Last Question is still on top of the most thought-provoking short story I've read but Margery Williams' The Velveteen Rabbit is a close runner up. (Yeah yeah, I know. Technically it's not a short story but anything that can be finished in around 20 or less minutes is considered a short story to me). It's about a toy rabbit that wants to become real. The story somehow reminded me of Toy Story and The Little Prince. Oh well. Too much existential dilemma does no one any good. So until the next post.

Here's to a fun 2017!

Welcome to New York

For the sake of easier comprehension, let's categorize the 3 families into Valles of US, Valles of Australia, and Valle - Peraltas of the Philippines. The last 2 families drove to New York to supposedly attend the famous Ball Drop in time for the New Year Celebration however, as later on proven, New York is not suitable for kids. Which makes me wonder how Kevin had so much fun all by himself. I digress. Prior to the trip, I've been most excited to visit New York. Suffice to say, I've had the most fun in there as it was only in New York that all my usual selfish reasoning and babbles had the chance to come alive (hehehehe I particularly indulged my selfish side when my parents ordered my brothers to accompany me in Saks Fifth Avenue). Just kidding. My Mom didn't fall short in reminding me that the main purpose of the entire trip has been to "build memories with the Valles".

Trench coat: Atmosphere | Top: borrowed jacket | White pants: Stradivarius | Boots: from department store in US | Bag: Balenciaga

I've always loved the energy in New York. Kind locals to tourists? Forget it. Everyone seems to always be chasing after something. That pedestrian light that goes on and off? It's just there to serve as 'guidance' so it is generally up to you when you'll cross the street (very much like in the Philippines). Respectful private drivers? "Get out of my way beep beep" (another very much like the Philippines). 'It's orderly in the US' ideology? Oh come on, don't fool me. Pet-friendly? The only animals I see there are rodents the size of a cat. Still want to go there? YES, BY A HUNDREDFOLD!

My aunts think that New York is the fulfillment of the illusory American Dream, depicted by movies and songs as this 'concrete jungle where dreams are made of' when in fact, it's nothing but a hype. For me, though, New York IS among those places I'd want to go back to over and over again. Everywhere I looked amazed me: the Christmas display of Saks and Macy's, the cold winter breeze, the seemingly 'uprooted' trees due to the season, the different languages that fill one's ears, the high taxes added to every purchase no matter where you shop, the long walks, the dreadful traffic, the yellow cab driver who demanded for "Christmas tip" on top of the meter, the snobbish sales associates who would look at you from head to toe and reluctantly give you your size so when you actually buy the pair without asking for its price they seem surprised and eventually treat you as though you're their best friend, the equally snobbish other shopper whom you saw looked at you with judgmental eyes and was equally surprised when she heard you ask for the designer pair using its actual name and evenly more surprised when you whipped out your wallet and handed payment for the pair she knew costed a lot, the once rude sales associate from the other brand which you initially visited who gave you the once over and decided you're not worth her time so she chose to talk to the next customer who walked in the shop only to give you the second glance when you returned to the shop with the paperbag containing the recent purchase which is a statement on its own and so she left another customer in favor of you, the entrepreneurial guy who sold "dope candies for adults" beside his van painted with different flavors of his "doped" lollies despite knowing that drugs are not legal in the state, and lastly, the Rockefeller Center which clearly failed to serve as the perfect background for my Kevin-McAllister-in-New-York-dreams as the tourists littering the area just wouldn't stop pushing.

Just the same, New York is known to be the place where you can be whoever you wish to be if you only have the guts to do so. Say what you want about NYC but it still holds my complete devotion captive. Whereas others see its snobbishness as a con, I consider it among NYC's best characteristics. See, that's the thing about New York. You can judge whatever and whomever you want to judge and still end up being proven wrong.

I LOVE NEW YORK!

On a side note, I bought the pair of boots I'm wearing in this set with this design from King Ranch Saddle Shop as inspiration:

The title's from Taylor Swift's 1989 album, which I was able to completely listen to

for the 1st time on the plane ride from Manila to Washington Dulles. Also,

Taylor's billboards are all over Times Square so it's fitting that her song's

been made the title

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I still have plenty of  travel-related posts pending from 2016 namely: February – Hong Kong, March – China and Japan, May – Singapore, October – Hong Kong and Macau plus a few in-betweens that all took place here in the Philippines. But let me set them aside for a “few” more posts to give way to a 3-post about my Holiday 2016. Without a doubt, seeing my Valle cousins has been the highlight of Holiday 2016 if not the entire 2016.

Snow jacket - Puffer: Guess / Pants and gloves: Uniqlo / Snow boots: borrowed from my Tita /

My younger brother Gio, being in the US for his practicum, paved way for the happenstance of the entire family’s Holiday vacation. My cousins from Australia flew in a week earlier than we did. Once everyone was in the US, the riot began. The snow, much to the disappointment of all the adults and the annoyance of my younger cousin Alexandra, only showed up in the morning of 6 January; by then, everyone else had returned to their respective home countries save for Gio and I. Just the same, we all drove to Wisp Resort to ski and just to enjoy in and the snow.

This will be the 1st of numerous USA-related posts.

There Are Storms That We Cannot Weather

My Grandmom and I watched the production of Les Miserables in Solaire Theatre last April 2016. I kid you not when I tell you that during the 15-minute interval between the 2 Parts of the show, a refined-looking woman (her Chanel 2.55 was dangling from her shoulder while her Rolex-clad left wrist was pointing at me. I have quick eyes on strangers talking to me hahahaha just kidding, she just really looked so elegant that I couldn’t help but give her the once-over)  approached me and complimented me on the top that I was wearing. Lala and I were queuing in line at the loo when she just started conversing with me. She said that she would want to get her daughter the exact same top. I was so touched and grateful that not only did I give her the website from where she can order it but I also offered her personal delivery, provided that she lives in Metro Manila. I was very much touched because you see, I was wearing a top from my friend and I’s clothing brand, ARKIPELAGO (Nothing makes me happier these days than hearing positive comments about our clothes hehehehehe)

Top: ARKIPELAGO / Pants and Heels: Zara / Coat: from Malaysia / Bag: Goyard / Watch: Tag Heuer

Regarding the musical, perhaps it’s because there’s already a movie to which I can readily compare the production with (although I know that they are 2 separate mediums so as such, they should be evaluated using different parameters yet still), that I did not like the production at all. I couldn’t feel anything from Fantine nor Eponine’s deaths. Not even Gavroche could make me sympathize with their plight. Then again, it could be because I normally respond better to the villains, to those who do the atrociousness, to those who unmercifully do what they need to do to get what they want. Between Jean Valjean and Javert, I’m more Team Javert. Don’t misunderstand me though. I’ve absolutely loved the movie version so it’s not the story that bored me. It’s the rendition. I hated it more than I hated Daisy of The Great Gatsby and that’s saying a lot.

Now on to more important matters: THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!!! I’m so excited for all the things my family has planned for this year. I haven’t seen my younger brother Gio for a year now due to his internship in the US but it seems that I’m about to see him in a few days yahoo!! Why is it that whenever it’s Christmas, aside from the pounds that add on to my usual weight and the excitement that envelopes me, it’s also the time of the year when I start questioning if I’ve done things in the past year that have brought me closer to the grand future that I wish for myself. And I guess it’s been a universal Christmas theme in my blog to ask the same questions year after year, only in different methods. Like HERE or HERE or HERE.

Nonetheless, the Holiday Season will always be my favorite season, no matter how good, bad, or worse, nondescript the year turned out to be. And make no mistake, crises brought on by my tendencies to embrace shallowness eclipse all other crises, existential ones included. Hahahaha

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!