I've this ability - or defect depending on how one perceives it -
to let something emotionally difficult to handle, to rest in the deeper
recesses of my mind until I've mustered a strategy on how to best deal with it.
I can fairly handle the changes in my life especially if at the end of it all,
I know that I would benefit from it considerably but I have a few episodic
outbursts where I, simply put, fall apart. Then again, no one would know
when this happens except me. As I've said in one of my posts, my world
could crumble down under my feet but no one will ever know when it's already
happening. For someone who speaks her mind all the time, unsolicited opinions
or otherwise, I do the shutting up like a pro.
It's been weeks since I've received the results of what I hinted as what was supposed to be the game-changer of this year. Let's just say
that I wanted to get A so badly that I didn't even come up with back-up
plans because I didn't want to compromise the situation should I get it, but in
the end I was offered B. I couldn't accept B even though it was a good alternative because it wouldn't bring me closer to my goals. To say that I was disheartened would be a great understatement. I had to let go of all the possibilities that it would have opened for me as abrupt as they've sent me the news. I wouldn't even try to delude myself into thinking that everything would eventually turn out better because I'd never have the chance to know. So for now, I'm just settling with doing the most of what's left. This includes finally learning to speak French! Je parle un peu français. Je suis etudiant en Alliance Francaise. And in a few months, I'll be going to other places. I'm taking small steps and formulating other plans along the way just to be sure. I don't want to get jilted the second time around. Hahaha!
Shoes: Celine | Dress: borrowed from my grandmom | Polo: from Bacolod | Bag: Coach | Bangle: from Thailand | Belt: Mango
I'm getting lazy at taking photos of what I'm recently wearing so I had to use this set which was taken last April. These past few weeks, I'm out and about almost on a thrice a week basis because my friends and I are spending the most of the time with my friend Jana Medel. She's leaving for Singapore in a few hours where she'll be staying for the next 2 years. She has signed a 2-year contract there which will serve as her first job after graduating. I consider her as one of my closest friends. She's our batch drummer every intramural season so it's no wonder that we're together from dismissal time to 12 midnight every underground day. We have witnessed each others' best and worst moments in HS (which as I've repeatedly gushed here happened when we were in 3rd year).
I'm going to miss you, M! If only Multiply didn't shut down, I would've had more photos of just the two of us. Have fun there! We'll visit you soon!
